I’m home now! But I wanted to write one last blog wrapping up this trip. 

We left Antigua, my ministry team got to do a little goodbye and it was sweet, we got to tell our ministry hosts what we appreciated. They really did ministry well, focusing on the relational part of ministry a lot. And that impacted how I see ministry. It’s not just about helping and sharing the Gospel, it’s about creating friendships and showing love above all. I’ve now lived in Antigua twice and it genuinely does have a place in my heart. 

Then we left on a chicken bus to El Salvador for a debrief week. The girls stayed in one house and the guys in another. It was nice, we had a pool and we were on the beach as well. But it felt weird going from sharing one bathroom and dirty spaces to being in an amazing house on the beach. But it was a sweet way to end the trip and spend time together. We spent a lot of time swimming and writing letters to each other and having last one on ones with each other.

During training week all the way in Albania we wrote letters to ourselves for the end of the trip and we got those back and read them. In my note to myself I talked about how I wanted to be unrecognizable at the end, I wanted God to change me immensely and I wanted to grow in my confidence and boldness and in speaking up. After reading it I was like ‘wow. That DID happen.’ Comparing myself to Alyssa training week I DID grow in confidence, being secure in who God says I am, and using my voice. The things I wished for came true. That was such an encouragement. We also did a time of group debrief and personal debrief. Which was good. And I understand the importance of debriefing now, even though I try and put it off. 

Getting to the last few days got really hard. One night I was sitting with my leader Tammy and someone else and I just started crying. It kind of came out of nowhere. Tammy was talking to me and she said “it’s okay you’re just grieving.” And I was like what? Grieving? That’s like what you do when somebody dies I’m not grieving that’s too intense of an emotion. But thinking about it like, we all lived together for 8ish months. And not even just lived together but did LIFE together. Did ministry together. Worship together. Slept in the same rooms. Went on adventures. Like it’s a BIG change to go from that to all being hours away from each other. Grieving does make sense. Our last day we did a last dinner and all took pictures together and said some parting words. It was so bittersweet. And then we washed our leaders feet and just expressed gratitude to them for leading us. 

Next morning we left on a chicken bus again for a few hours long ride to the Guatemala City airport. The plan was to fly out that night to Costa Rica, stay overnight there and then fly to Orlando and part ways. But when we were about an hour from the airport Tammy told us that plans changed. Half of us were flying out that night and the other half were’t until later. So half the goodbyes were coming a lot sooner than we thought. That day and the next day were two full days of travel and scattered goodbyes. It was a long and sad two days. We said bye in the Guatemala City airport, then outside the Orlando airport, then final goodbyes IN the Orlando airport. We all really love each other. So each hug and goodbye was really hard. I was then on my way home. By myself. Flying into Spokane I was sitting there thinking ‘man I ned to prepare myself I’m almost there.’ And I was just thinking, I’m so blessed and I have so much joy. I am a different person. I’m going home a different person. I have so much joy inside of me and peace. I have a reliance on the Lord that I’ve never had before. And I fully believe that He is good and He will provide. Like I actually have minimal fear of the unknowns of my future because He’s proven that He provides for me. So I landed home with a gratitude for the last 8 months, for all the memories with my friends, and the ways God had changed me and my heart. 

And now I’m here in Spokane. It’s weird. At times I forget my trip happened. I want to say I’m still getting settled in but, I don’t want to get settled in. When I’m living normally and comfortably, I’m falling back into laziness and selfishness. I don’t desire to get a job here and live with my parents and stay in Spokane doing whatever. I want to leave again, I don’t know what that looks like yet but that’s my desire. And a big part of my prayer is that God can give me opportunities. I haven’t felt a pull to do ministry full time, but I would absolutely do SOMETHING again and be a part of something ministry related. But I don’t know. God has my future.

So I’m here now, but I’m not who I was before the World Race. My relationship with God changed completely. I finally see Him as my friend and as a good Father who has plans for me. And hey, if He leads me somewhere else look out for a fundraising link again haha (I hate fundraising).

I’m so grateful for the memories I have from the last 8 months. I would recommend something like that for ANYONE. And I’m excited to keep talking about my experiences and about the faithfulness of God.

Goodbye forever or for now. Who knows.