Here is my last blog on the missions field. Which is crazy. I’ve been doing this for about 7 months and now I have 8 days until I’m on a plane home.

For basic life updates, we were here during Easter week and if you didn’t know, Antigua celebrates that in a huge way. They make carpets on the roads out of flowers and sand and food and they do processions, or parades, around the streets with giant floats and marching bands. It’s so packed and chaotic but such an experience to see and be apart of the culture. That week as well, almost all of us got lice. That was brutal. We don’t know where it came from but we spent a few days shampooing our hair, washing everything, and picking bugs out of each others hair. You can say it was definitely a team bonding experience. Other than that things have been the same. Ministry and exploring Antigua and worship and constantly going to coffee shops.

This last weekend most of us hiked Volcano Acatenago and some of us did a second one, Fuego, as well. I’ve been wanting to do this for at least a year, I guarantee you’ve heard of people doing it. I went into it knowing that it was going to be hard but so worth it for the views. We started hiking up these steep dirt paths and right off the bat I was like oh wow I can’t do this. This is going to be terrible. I haven’t prepared at all. I’ve barely even drank water leading up to this like I have at least 6 more hours of this JUST for the first volcano. But, we take a good amount of breaks and once I figured out my pace, I was good. My legs didn’t hurt too bad, the weather was good, I kept a good pace in the frontish end of the group, I was having fun. We finally get to the top, about 6 hours later. It’s cold. But the views are incredible. We stop at our base camp and you can see Fuego from there. The sun was setting, the clouds were gorgeous. You forget about the tiredness and the amount of time you just hiked straight uphill. We had like an hour and then the group hiking Fuego left. Leading up to this day I was sure I wanted to do Fuego as well, but starting back down the other side of Acatenango over the rocks and everyone falling on their butt and the piercing cold wind, I started regretting it. We got down the volcano to the in-between of the two, in just a few hours. It’s getting pitch black by this point. We start up Fuego. The cold is getting worse, the amount of people trying to go down as we’re trying to go up was insane. We lost one of our people at one point. I was REALLY trying to keep up a good attitude but it kept disappearing. I was exhausted, my legs hurt, it was so cold, and it was taking us forever to get there because we had to stop for every group passing. But. Most times when I started complaining I would right away go “Nope, God, change my mindset. I want to have fun.” And many times, that did change my mindset. We go to the top and could see Fuego spitting out lava. Our guide said “hey, let’s get closer.” So we hike up some more. At the spot, the wind was genuinely the worst I’ve ever felt. I think if I jumped the wind would throw me straight off the mountain. We all stood there, fighting the wind and cold, waiting for Fuego to blow again. When it did blow, it was amazing. You can see the lava go up and down the mountain. When else do you see that? We start hiking back down the volcano and then back up Acatenango. People start not feeling good, everyones slipping on the dirt, we’re all exhausted. We get back to the base camp around midnight. We all have a few bites of cold spaghetti and then crawl into our ice cold shacks. Sharing with 6 other girls and not enough sleeping bags, or room in general. The next morning we start our hike down. Something I love about this group is that no matter what, we’re going to try and find a way to have fun. Once the downhill starts, we all just run. Running, weaving around people until our break points. We sit for a little bit and then get up and start sliding and running and falling down the volcano. We get down in about 3 hours. While we’re sitting at the starting point waiting for everyone to get back I was thinking. When we hiked back down Fuego the night before and were on our way back to the shacks, I looked over at Fuego thinking, I was just up there, I just climbed that. So sitting there now at the end I’m thinking, I just did all of that. No preparation, I was exhausted, I didn’t bring enough water. And I was proud of myself. That’s a new thing. I don’t know if I’ve ever genuinely been proud of myself. Because I’ve spent my life finding something wrong with myself constantly, every time. But I know now how God sees me. My creator made me and He made me capable of doing hard things. I’ve spent my life hating on someone that the Lord hand crafted? I spent so much time on that volcano praying and worshipping Him, standing looking at the stars and Fuego singing 'Indescribable'. It was one of the best experiences of my life. And it really clicked with me how God sees me. 

We have 1 more day of ministry here in Antigua and then a week of debrief in El Salvador before going home. Antigua is one of my favorite places ever, after being here twice now I’ve learned to love it a lot and I could totally see myself coming back here yet again someday. 

And now again, the thoughts of the end of this trip. It’s a weird feeling associated with that. Because on one hand, I’m starting a new chapter and that’s exciting. God could do anything with me. I’m going home a new person. There’s already opportunities presented to me for the next year. And I am so certain of Gods goodness and His ability to call me higher and provide the means for me to carry out whatever He has in store. But on the other hand. I’m used to life like this now. My best friends are here and now I won’t be living with them. I don’t know what going home will look like, there’s so many unknowns. Thinking about leaving this trip makes me want to cry. There’s no in-between. But hey, my prayer life has never been better. Because man am I nervous and impatient. I have to rely on the Lord so much. I have NO IDEA what I’m doing. But it’ll be good and I know the next chapter of my life will be sweet.

Lastly, I have so many thank you’s to give. I’m fully funded!!! I’ll be honest, I hated fundraising. I struggled with it and finding ways that didn’t sound like “hi, give me money.” But the Lord provided through so many big donations. A lot of them from anonymous donors. I’m so grateful for my family, friends, and strangers who got me to be funded for this trip. I didn’t have to worry too much about it and that was a big blessing. And to those anonymous donors, thank you so much even though I can’t thank you face to face. 

Something that God has shown me throughout this trip is that I have a voice, I have a story, and I have testimonies of Gods faithfulness. When I get home I can’t wait to share those things with anyone. I’ve met God in a way that I never have before and I know God will give me opportunities to share about that. 

Pray that these last 8 days will be full of joy and prayer and community. Praise God for these people and this experience.